Why Pastors Forget Prayer Requests — And How to Remember

By Jacob Gerber — a pastor and the founder of Shepherding Tools.

An up-front summary of this article:

• The Bible teaches that leaders of God's people—especially pastors—must devote themselves to prayer for his people.
• Through forgetfulness or an inflated sense of ministerial effectiveness, pastors can all too easily forget to pray for their people.
• A simple system that lets pastors write down prayer requests and find those prayer requests during times of prayer goes a long way.

And here is the longer version:

The pastoral priority of prayer

As pastors, we want to pray for people. Yet, though our spirit is indeed willing to pray, the flesh is weak (Matt. 26:41b), so that we often forget to pray or forget the requests that we should be praying for. As a pastor, this is frustrating: why do I forget to pray? In the last article, I wrote about how to keep track of prayer requests. In this article, I want to take a closer look at why we need to work proactively to avoid forgetting to pray for the needs of our people.

What does the Bible say about a pastor's duty to pray?

Let's start with what the Scriptures teach. Peter teaches his fellow elders to put prayer at the top of our priority list in ministry: "But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word" (Acts 6:4). In the Old Testament, the prophet Samuel expressed a similar sentiment about his ministry priorities: "Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and the right way" (1 Sam. 12:23). In both the Old and the New Testaments, prayer is not only connected to the ministry of the word ("instruct you"), but named ahead of the ministry of the word.

God does not call us first and foremost to be powerful preachers to thunder God's word from the pulpits of our churches. Nor does he call us first and foremost to be wise teachers, communicating deep theological truths from Scripture. Nor does he call us first and foremost to be skilled counselors to apply God's word effectively in the counseling room.

Instead, he calls us first and foremost to devote ourselves to prayer. Intercessory prayer is fundamental to our calling as pastors and elders. Before we open our mouths to speak to others, true Christian ministry requires us to have poured out our hearts to God in the secret of the prayer closet, holding our people before the throne of God at the mercy seat of Jesus Christ.

Therefore, we must not only watch and pray that we might not enter into temptation. Much more, we are called to watch and pray that our people might not enter into temptation (Matt. 26:41a).

Why do pastors forget prayer requests?

The road to prayerlessness is paved with good intentions.

You know the scene: you're in a conversation with someone, and that person is sharing something really significant. Because you genuinely care for that person, you intend to pray for them. You would do well to pray for them in that moment, but you also intend to pray without ceasing for them. You probably even promise them that you will pray for them.

But, if you don't write that request down, you inevitably forget about it. A new crisis arises, or someone else needs your attention, or someone else has a crisis du jour for you. Or, maybe the request about someone's child struggling in a class at school gets drowned under the tidal wave of the prayer requests from the person dying of cancer. When you talked with the person who confided their small request to you, you felt the weight of that issue on their soul. But, when you walked into the hospital room, that weight didn't feel so heavy any more, and the simple request fled from your mind.

Then, the next morning when you are up early for your private worship, the big things come to mind, and the small things are drowned out. At the main time that you set aside to pray for people, you flat-out can't remember the things that you promised to pray for. Good intentions, on their own, are where prayer requests go to die.

Why do I forget to pray?

Beyond mere forgetfulness, there is another, more sinister reason that we all forget to pray, pastors included. All of us harbor pride that makes us think, deep down, that we don't really need to pray.

For pastors, this looks like developing subtle overconfidence in our own effectiveness in ministry. We rely on the persuasiveness of our words, or the brilliance of our thoughts, or the compassion of our hearts to minister to people. In this, we not only forget to pray—we forget that ministry is about pointing people to Christ rather than the minister.

Gospel transformation only "comes from the Lord who is the Spirit" (2 Cor. 3:18), so the most effective thing we can do is to ask for the Holy Spirit's help.

What do you do when you forget to pray for someone?

When we forget to pray, there is nothing worse than the feeling when someone thanks us for praying for them. Taking us at our word, they expected that we would follow through with our promises to pray. What is a pastor supposed to say when he didn't, in fact, remember to pray?

And what about our Master, Jesus? In his parable of the persistent widow's impertinent faithfulness, Jesus concludes by asking, "Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?" (Luke 18:8). Will the Son of Man find faith in his pastors?

So that I do not entirely forget to pray, I pray for someone who shares a request with me right away, before I have left them. I can always pray more, but by praying in the moment, I avoid failing to pray altogether. More, there is no better personal ministry than to pray with our people.

It is much better, however, to pray for people right away and to write down their requests in a system that you can access when it’s time for you to pray.

What do pastors get wrong about remembering to pray?

So, the biggest mistake pastors make is when they don't have a system for writing down and managing prayer requests. With prayer as with many things, failing to plan is planning to fail. It is essential for me to write down prayer requests somewhere I can access when it comes time to pray. Whether that's a physical notebook, a to-do app, or a more sophisticated software designed for prayer, the important thing is to have a system and to follow it.

May the Lord bless you as you remember your people in intercessory prayer.

FAQ

What do the Scriptures teach about pastoral prayer?

The Scriptures insist that the leaders of God's people must devote themselves to prayer for their people. Samuel said that it would be a sin for him not to pray for the people of Israel, and Peter insisted that ministers of the word must devote themselves to prayer. These principles underscore the importance of prayer for pastors today.

Why do pastors forget to pray?

Pastors forget to pray for similar reasons that everybody forgets to pray: the busyness of life crowds out the many needs we have to commit to our Father in heaven through prayer. Beyond that, pastors sometimes forget that the power for our ministry comes not from our skill but from the power of God's Spirit, through prayer.

What kind of a system can help pastors to remember what to pray for?

At a minimum, pastors need a system that allows them to write down requests that people have made, and to find those requests during the times that they have appointed for prayer. There are a number of ways to organize such a system, and they all have benefits and drawbacks. I will compare different systems for organizing prayer requests in the next article.

Every day, Shepherding Prayer sends me a customized email with my daily prayer list. This email reminds me about every urgent need daily, and every small, non-urgent need on a regular cycle. Learn how you can get your own customized daily prayer email for free here.